In the middle of January I noticed a very strange ad in our local paper. And by local paper, I mean the local local paper. The paper that has a total of two people working there and will print anything you want them to---like a picture of Grandma's quilt or a piece mom submitted about Jr.'s third place ribbon in the school science fair. So imagine my surprise to see a picture of GARY COLEMAN in the ads! And not just Gary----his WIFE too! Who knew he was married?
Anyway, he and his wife were inviting me (maybe not personally, but since I think I might be the only one who looks at those ads I'll treat it as such) to check out their boutique of 'holiday items'. Even better, this was no storefront on Rodeo Drive. They sell from their garage! In Santaquin, Utah! How exciting it would be to go to Gary Coleman's garage and buy holiday items. However, two things held me back. The first being it was not a holiday season and I cannot buy things 11 months in advance. The other thing was that I am afraid of Gary Coleman. He is not the Arnold of my youth. He gets in fights with people. He gets really mad if people say, 'What you talking about Willis?" So I won't go to his boutique in his garage. But I really wish somebody more brave than I would go and tell me all about it.