Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Birthday Brainwashing

Noelle and her Birthday loot

A real live princess dress! Now she can finally keep up with the cousins

Pink was the only requirement of her Birthday cake. Thankfully she doesn't know that cakes can come in sizes other than squares.
One of the most rewarding parts of parenting is you get to try lots of psychological tricks on your kids and see if they work. Then, if they actually succeed, you can write a book about it and get lots of money and be able to afford the therapy your child may need as a result of your psychological tricks. See how fun it can be?
Anyhoo, Noelle turned three recently. She was very excited to talk about all the things she could do when she was three. Like she wondered if she could go to school like 'brothers'. And if she could be on a soccer team. My mind started working and I decided to take advantage of this milestone and told her exactly what would happen when she turned 3. Here's my list:
When you're 3
You don't have tantrums
You love fruits and veggies
You actually take longer naps
You know all of your colors
You clean up your own messes
You don't imitate any of your brothers' naughty behaviors
You don't start eating until we've prayed
Your whiny voice is a thing of the past
You don't ask to get out of the grocery cart
You don't climb out of the grocery cart
And there were more if you can possibly imagine! Sweet Noelle is now on Day 3 of being three and the experiment was a complete flop. She didn't even try to eat any fruits or veggies to see if she all of a sudden would like them. Sadly, no book will be written about this.
Normal kid problems aside, we love having Noelle in our family to add humor and pink to our daily activities. If I had known girls were so much fun I may have had them first. But then I wouldn't have seen how great it is for Noelle to have big brothers and for them to have a little sister (or two)...so I'll just call it good.

Friday, September 25, 2009


Pop quiz!

Question#1. Who gets a new pair of shoes every couple of months?

a. Me because I deserve them

b. Hub because he deserves them

c. Ike because he doesn't deserve them

Question #2. Who gets their new shoes from places that don't end in '-Mart' or '-arget' or '-ayless'?

a. Me because they don't sell Jimmy Choos at Payless.

b. Hub because WalMart doesn't carry Tevas.

c. Ike because he has Carnivore Feet that eat away cheaper shoes just by stepping into them.

If you answered C to both questions you are a genius.

Seriously. Look at these harmless feet:

He knew it was abnormal for me to take a picture of his feet so he's curling his toes in modesty

How could those beauties do such damage?? He doesn't even get a chance to outgrow his shoes before he has worn through the soles. The shortest lifespan was 5 weeks for a pair from Target. Sure the kid is active, but it's not like he's running marathons at recess is it? He's not rock climbing during PE is he? How the heck do his shoes get ruined so quickly? Maybe he puts them in the shredder.
This week he came home and showed me a flapping sole and a toe sticking out of the bottom of his shoe. I was busy this week! I didn't have time for an emergency trip to the Big City to buy him some fancy new shoes. Wear your Sunday shoes, I begged. No go. Wear those flip flops you never wear because you can't really run in them, I begged. No go. Wear your cleats and do some real damage during recess, I begged. No go.
I had to buy us some time before we could take him shoe shopping. So Hub used some glue and tried to glue the flapping pieces and I put duct tape over the hole. Don't judge us. Didn't you have to wear bread bags over your shoes in winter? (or was that just my older brothers?) Heck, your grandparents were probably feeling lucky to even own a pair of shoes. So what if my kid was wearing duct taped, glue spotted shoes?
Sadly, the duct tape wasn't up to MacGyver's standards and Ike came home with even a bigger hole. There was no fighting it; he needed new shoes before he wore holes through all his socks. Precious time was sacrificed and Hub went to several shoe stores on the way home from work to find the perfect pair of shoes that fit the criteria of athletic, on sale, and not too flashy (Ike is particular).
I try not to be jealous. But I can't really justify buying a new pair of shoes for me as frequently as Ike gets a new pair. Maybe if I started putting my own shoes in the shredder?

Saturday, September 19, 2009

What type of fan are you?

Tonight I fed my children dinner, lovingly yelled at them to not ride their bikes in the road, bathed them and read them lots of books before bed----all while the radio was on so I could every once in awhile catch the score of the BYU football game. Hub and Ike had driven several cities away to actually watch the game on TV since our satellite company is El Stinky and doesn't get Versus. So the question begs, why didn't I go too since I enjoy me a good football game? Simply put: Hub is the Rabid Fan and I am just the Healthy Normal Fan that realizes children don't watch a football game and they desire nourishment and bedtime. (and yes, I mean rabid and not the more benign term of avid as you will see why)

Here is how we differ in our fandom:

The Rabid Fan thinks you must be sitting in your stadium seat 10 minutes prior to kickoff and you don't leave your seat until the game is finished, no matter if the game is a blowout and you could beat the traffic home. The Rabid Fan also believes it's reasonable to endure blizzard-like conditions to watch a game.
The Healthy Normal Fan thinks it's OK to miss kickoff if you still need to find pockets to smuggle treats into the stadium. The HNF also knows that it is perfectly fine to listen to the last ten minutes of the game on the radio while you are speeding down 9th East. She also knows that if her toes are numb with frostbite then the Cougars will forgive her for going home early.
The Rabid Fan will always volunteer to go to a game and childcare and lactating spouses are secondary concerns.
The HNF knows that going to a game with a Rabid Fan spouse will result in several hours of childcare and maybe it's OK to miss the stadium experience while nursing...
The Rabid Fan will stay up late to watch postgame interviews and commentary and eagerly get the paper in the morning to read more about the game--as if he hadn't watched the whole thing already!
The HNF is pleased as punch to win, but doesn't need to relive every big play and see the same footage on SportsCenter.
The Rabid Fan gets a teensy bit angry when the Cougars are playing poorly and has been known to break things and utter words not fit for those little pitchers.
The HNF realizes it's just a game and will say in a chipper voice, "We'll get 'em next time!" when her team is losing.

See what I'm dealing with? The Rabid Fan just sucks all the fandom out of me. We could deal with our differences before the kiddies came along, but now I have to pull the Mother Martyr card and be there for them. Maybe one day we can all sit down and enjoy a good win together again, but as for now, I'll just be catching the score in between loads of laundry.
And in Rabid Fan's defense.... he would argue that is just a Better Fan than yours truly. And he does remember he has a family during halftime. I guess if being a Rabid Fan is his only flaw, then he ain't doing too bad. (is that a good mea culpa, sweetie? hope so!)
I hate to be too matchy-matchy so I just dressed my whole fan-ily in BYU gear but me (2007 so no Syd--don't worry though, she fits into the pink BYU shirt now!)

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Title Schmitle

I hate to deprive anybody of the fascinating aspects of our life so I'm going to cram it all in. Put your seatbelt on and enjoy the ride.

Life has been busy with soccer. It's so fun to watch kids run around and fall down and kick the ball the wrong way. Hub is coaching again this year which has its pros and cons. Pro being he's getting home from work earlier. Con being I have to watch the other kids during the games and that really cramps my self appointed sideline coaching job.

I cannot take action pix while holding a babe and yelling at my kid to kick it harder, so here's Ethan standing there

and here's a picture of Mitch standing there doing body inventory

Moving on....An exciting day occurred when I took Noelle and Syd to get their beauty shots at the oh-so-cheap Target Portrait Studio.

See how cheesy and happy Noelle can be when getting her picture taken?Well, that same girl didn't come to the picture party. She buried her head on the chair in the waiting room and sobbed that she didn't want to have her picture taken. And she absolutely refused to even go in the studio. Good thing she has a couple of older bros who taught me that difficult children were my lot in life, so I just said whatevs, no treat for you.

After that success story it was Sydney's turn! Syd was feeling very thoughtful and preferred solemn poses no matter how ridiculous the photographer and I acted, so again I just said whatevs, at least you sat there.

Speaking of Syd, does the above outfit bother you? Hub told me it was definitely a stay-at-home-never-leave-the-house-in-this kindof outfit. And Ike says it makes him think of cupcakes.

Moving on, yet again.....we had a wonderful Labor Day weekend. Fireworks, family baptisms, parades, family dinners and fun and a big BYU win made life seem wonderful.
Then Mitch threw a big fat weird tantrum going back to school because he thought he swallowed his permanent tooth while eating oatmeal. I know, what the?! And I was just so desperate to get him to stop crying and get out of the car and get in the school that I started throwing out bribes and we were doing this negotiation thing through his sobs. Guess what I owe him for finally going to class that morning? A whole package of oreos. He knew how desperate I was and he drove a hard bargain. At least give me props for confessing my awesome parenting skills in times of duress.

Moving on....we ended the week with a fun trip to Lagoon. We hadn't been this year and the kids were crying in their sleep for bumper cars, sky rides and roller coasters. Favorite Uncle R scrounged up some freebies and we got to go with them. Now there is somebody deserving of a whole package of oreos....


Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Backyard Adventures

This has been the summer of the great divide. Dad and the boys go fun places and Mom and the girls stay home because frankly, leaving the house with Sydney isn't anybody's idea of a party. Hub, being the nice guy he is, felt badly about always leaving Noelle home. So last weekend he pitched the tent up in the backyard so she could have a pretend campout.

Noelle and Syd frolicking on everybody's sleeping bags

Everyone is so excited to be sleeping on the ground even though their cozy, comfy beds are just yards away in the house. Sneaky Hub was smart enough to haul a mattress outside to sleep on.

I had to reluctantly skip out on the backyard sleepover so I could hear Syd if she woke up in the night. Strangely, Hub didn't feel bad about not inviting Syd to his tent party.

Something about sleeping closely together and being in a tent makes our kids incredibly hyper. By the time everyone was actually contained in their sleeping bags and not giggling, Noelle was sufficiently tired enough to be freaked out that she wasn't in her own bed. At approximately 9:15 pm she called it quits and cried to go inside the house.
So once again.....Dad and the boys had a fun time sleeping in the tent while mom and the girls had to sleep in their own beds. Sometimes a great divide is what is best for everyone!