Sunday, March 30, 2008

A Sad Story Resulting from Balancing My Checkbook


I was in the process of balancing my checkbook and going through receipts and itemizing various purchases on our monthly budget so there will be no mystery at all as to why we can't afford anything considered 'luxurious' (like a canopy bed--I've wanted one since I was a child), when I had one of those strange morbid thought processes. I started imagining my dead body being discovered by police and when they are looking for clues as to my identity all they find are the contents of my wallet. My driver's license only reveals that I take horrible pictures and am slightly delusional when listing my eye color as 'green' rather than 'hazel.' But the saddest thing ever is when they check my receipts and for a whole month the only places where I had purchased anything had been from Wal*Mart and Smith's! I then imagine the police looking at each other sadly and saying,"Well, this dame didn't really get out much did she?" And that's when the thought process starts to deteriorate since I don't really think any of my current city cops would say dame.

But back to reality---for a whole month the only evidence of me leaving the house was to buy things from Wal*Mart and Smith's! How sad is that? Granted, I am sure there were some online purchases that would make me look a little more exciting (like the wild purchases from Amazon.com) but I don't print those out and shove them in my wallet for the cops to find. Should I just make it a goal to have some exciting receipt in my wallet to make me feel a little more adventurous? Or should I just accept the fact that I am going to make one boring dead body?

7 comments:

cold cocoa said...

You're overlooking some important items in your wallet: your Hogi Yogi and SuperCuts frequent buyer cards. Those add personality! And what about all your photos from high school dances?

The Allreds said...

When I first started reading your comments I was thinking you were going to say that someone stole your identity...so I was relieved to find that your comments only mentioned your lack of shopping outside of Payson, whew!!! If it makes you feel any better, I'd be an even more boring dead body than you as I only have WalMart receipts. UGH!!

Sher said...

At least you are organized enough to have your receipts all together in your wallet. The police should say "Something is fishy, this dame is too well organized". I'm now going to imagine all of the local police calling women dames.

Rhonda Can't Help You said...

I'm with Sher- I don't really even save my receipts. So when they find MY dead body, all they'll find is three different drivers licenses, business cards and frequent buyer cards.

Holliann said...

You do what with your check book? I totally don't think you should die. The blogging world would be boring upon its loss.

Reg said...

Ok Ronald Megan, I'm now waiting in suspense for your election to the BSB fan club leadership.

And if you don't mind the sound of country, just the emotional roller-coaster, maybe you should explore some of these pent up issues with your famous therapist? Just a thought.

T said...

just stick the URL for your blog in your wallet... they'll surely start thinking what an interesting dame you must have been... before you up and died that is. I shudder to think what the cops would say when they saw my wallet receipts... currently they show all the Easter and birthday purchases - and the 80% off goods I picked up at Kohl's (feels good to spend $12 and have a few new shirts, even if they are "rudolph the red nosed reindeer" and have to wait until Christmas to be trotted out)...