Friday, July 25, 2008

Why do I have to have a title?

I like Fridays because for about 15 minutes all my bathrooms are clean. And is it just me or does someone always have to use el potty right when I'm in the middle of scrubbing it? Enough small talk.
On to important matters: Ethan was shackled for several hours the other day. This was not a new form of discipline or child abuse. We have a toy pair of handcuffs where the release latch had been getting stuck lately. A smart mom would have just thrown them away or put them in the DI bag for another unsuspecting family to enjoy. However, I am not that mom. And I figured if I hid them for awhile they would fix themselves miraculously. Well, unfortunately they resurfaced and Ethan shackled his feet together. This was at 7:30 am. I couldn't undo those babies for the life of me. I got out a butter knife (at which point Ethan starts screaming, "Don't cut me mom!") and tried to pry them apart. I tried lots of different bad words on them and only resulted in them getting tighter on Ethan's ankles. My only short-term solution was to find Hub's tool box and I was able to break through the connecting chain so at least he wasn't forced to take baby steps all day.
The positive thing was that he was embarrassed at the store to have big bracelets on his legs and hid himself in the cart the whole time. If that's all it takes to have him not run around like a crazy man at the store, I may pull the 'cuffs out every time. When I finally got a hold of Hub hours later, he gave me some tips and I was finally able to set Ethan free with only a couple of 'ows' on his part.
poor ethan trying to take a nap with his new silver jewelry
And here is our latest home improvement project. Sod anyone? We are taking out a chunk of our hard earned grass. Hub has a dream and it involves a lot of cement and calculations on graph paper. We'll be welcoming your hard labor any Saturday for the next couple of months. Thanks.


LC said...

We should start marketing those behavior bracelets to desperate moms. Start selling them by the shopping carts at walmart.

Way to go green on the yard! Have any cement/hardscape ideas we're working on those too but for now we are enjoying all the neighbor's remarks about our country wilderness yard.

cold cocoa said...

You couldn't break dollar store cuffs? That is too funny. You never know what's going on behind closed doors! I can't believe you were brave enough to go out in public with your background in child services and all.

Michelle said...

The funniest part about Ethan's imprisonment is that he actually thought you were going to cut his feet off in order to free him. Situations like this always find their way to the ears of loving primary/school teachers who only get half the story and we get a concerned phone call. I wonder what his version of the events is and if it resembles your version in any way.

LC said...

Oh yeah... I'm remembering being stuck in the real metal kind of handcuffs as a kid (I think my mousetrap bro had something to do with it?) I was supposed to have the house clean when my parents got home so I did the cleaning and vacuuming with those things digging at my wrists. When my parents got home my Dad had to use a hack-saw in the garage to break them off--that was scary.

p.s.How 'bout sending that extra sod down our way?

Sher said...

Wow -- I'm trying to catch up here and I'm enjoying all of the Ethan stories. If any of my kids put on lots of undies I was unaware -- which must mean I didn't get quite enough snuggles? The hand cuff picture had Jake a bit concerned but I assured him that they were removed and that Ethan put them on himself in the first place. Way to not let it spoil your shopping trip and finding a positive about it. I'm glad they are safely removed and that I didn't buy them at D.I.

big8smiley said...

This makes me laugh so hard! I'm so glad I'm not the only mom that gets to deal with stuff like this. I love to hear about other kids that do brilliant stuff and to know that we aren't as abnormal as I sometimes like to think.

So what, exactly, are you going to do with your back yard?

hOLLIANN said...

I think I am always the one that has to use the bathroom while I am cleaning - and good mom for keeping the cuffs around. It gives you an excuse to use naughty words!

T said...

Hey Lar can claim the sod, but I can think of a few ways to use the cuffs :)

I initially saw your title and thought you were going to blog about having to fill out those stupid forms that ask for your career title... so hey, we always love your titles, especially when they're about PMS :)