Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Jazzed up about keeping it real

I can’t even fake it anymore. Remember when you’re dating someone you kindof put on a pretense of being a funner person than you really are? You hear the stories---mostly about how the woman pretends to like all sorts of sports or camping and she pretends like she doesn’t mind getting dirty. Maybe she’ll also pretend to like his dog and family. Then once they’re married all bets are off. And the man….he’ll go to concerts or plays and will try to cry during a chick flick and will insist he wants lots of kids. But he too will change his tune once the vows are said.

*DISCLAIMER*The above examples are all contrived for illustrative purposes only. Not from anybody I really know. Or they would kill me.

For the most part, Hub and I were honest in dating. But I will admit that I used to pretend to care about one thing more than I do now after 11 years of marriage. And here it is in bold letters: I DON’T CARE WHAT POSITION THE JAZZ ARE IN GOING INTO THE PLAYOFFS.

For heaven’s sakes can you draw out this nightmare any longer?? The Jazz seriously play about 17 times a week and their standing adjusts accordingly. By the time I have returned from a potty break they have just moved a ½ game ahead of Dallas. Or ¾ of a place behind the Suns. Or 8/11 of a tie with Houston. Maybe if I cared more my math skills would kick in and I could understand how you can be half a game behind anyone. It seems like a half a game would end at half time, right?

Anyhoo, as Hub delves into his analysis of which teams Need to Win for the best case scenario for the Jazz I ponder how much I have changed.

First Dating Response: “I totally agree that the refs really ruined it for Team X. We won’t even go to that Shakespearean play tonight so we can see if Team Y can pull it off. And let’s eat some beef jerky together.”

Married for 5 years: “ Bummer about the Jazz choking tonight. I’ll even change the diaper so you can sulk in peace.”

Current: “Whatevs. I hope they lose so we don’t waste anymore precious TV time on them. Can’t you just check the score during the commercials of  Dancing With the Stars?”

And that is where we are. Hub has no delusions about my interest in the standings. In fact, he’ll start off each long winded report with a “I know you don’t really care….but” So as long he can get it off his chest and isn’t offended that I’m typing on my blog while ‘listening’ then we’re cool. At least we can still eat jerky together.

PS. Is it just me or is Kyle Korver too good looking to be playing in the NBA? Shouldn't he be doing Calvin Klein commercials somewhere?


T Daley said...

I just love you! You are too funny. I guess I should be glad my husband doesn't care about the Jazz or any team for that matter... but I do however have to watch HOURS and HOURS of down hill bike races!

The things we wifes must go through :)

stephanie said...

oh how I remember pretending to like the Jazz. I even bought tickets on several occasions.
After I realized that Landan was never going to pretend to like anything I like, I gave up. Having more than one TV is great!!


Nicole said...

You make me laugh Megan. I'm glad Jeremy is not a sports man. He just wishes I liked camping and backpacking. I just don't understand the thrill of sleeping on a hard ground and having to use the bushes instead of a potty. Good thing our men love us anyway.

Leon said...

For the record, Korver is pretty Hot! Or so I have heard.

cold cocoa said...

Hee hee...I do like those examples. Humans are so weak...but it's all for the prize in the end, right?

I don't know who you listen to, but Dr. Laura and the prophet all told me to put your spouse first and the dividends will come trillions-fold. So keep faking it baby! You can replace that jerky with a half gallon ice cream, though.

T said...

ha - too true - Q accuses me all the time of pretending to like things... only half true... I did USED to enjoy those things, but I've grown out of them... somehow sleeping on a rock isn't the same after having 5 children.

Rhonda Can't Help You said...

You know what's weird? I've never dated a guy who likes sports as much as I do. My dad has blessed/cursed me with the love of basketball/football.

I am a CATCH- gosh darnit!

And what's wrong with beef jerky? A delicious portable snack? Lovely.

Sher said...

Korver went to a basketball game at Trisa's college and spent lots of the game with a line behind him waiting for his autograph. Der figures he could be a double for Aston Kutcher. My husband laughs because I went to all of the games in college and spent the majority of the time looking at the crowd trying to find people I know.

Sher said...

About your last blog -- I like coming up with the titles for blogs the best. I was thinking last night for entertainment of doing a blog that was all titles -- or a survey to see which title seems most interesting. Syd is cute and the table that probably is willing to at least hold the vegetables in it's mouth for as long as you leave them there is great too.

LC said...

BD and I are laughing reading this.
I don't have enough drama skills to pretend to like spectator sports. But, when I was first married to BD we went to welcome the Jazz come home from some playoff at 4 a.m!
Just shows that I was in love with a man who was in love with the Jazz.

The Allreds said...

you make me laugh....thanks!

big8smiley said...

LOL! I am SO THERE!!! I have stopped pretending as well, so it's really sad in our household. Jeremy has to call his friend up and discuss the 1/2 game advantages.

hOLLIANN said...

Hey, at least you didn't spend your 10 year anniversary with Booze and Ronnie...seriously, we have MANY friends, who stumbled upon a "free" ticket to yesterday's game (sunday)...best poster we heard, "Jazz 1st ward, sorry bishop."...I think the "free" ticket goes right along with giving the dog to a "farm"...RIGHT!?