Yes friends, it is true. I just hate to miss out on anything (unless it's joining Facebook) and so I have finally finished the Twilight series. It only took me a year and a half. It wasn't because I was a slow reader, because I actually read each book quickly, it was rather that I felt no need to rush into the next one. I was pacing myself, people. Like a good marathon runner would. And like all good marathon runners (or so I'm assuming since I really hate to run) I now am done and feel quite the accomplishment. Except I didn't win a trophy or get a free t-shirt from the experience.
So now I am In the Know like most of the female population and feel qualified to offer my deep insights into the books. For the two of you out there who have no idea what I'm talking about I will excuse you from this post and ask you to return next time for when I get back to being deep in ways you appreciate.
Thought #1: After all the raving about it, the next time I am at a museum and nobody is looking I am going to find a marble statue and hug it and kiss it. Seriously. No matter how sparkly great looking Edward is does it really sound appealing to cuddle to something hard and cold?? But maybe my cynicism is because I've never DONE it. So I will reserve full judgement until I've tried it and hope I don't get arrested.
Thought #2: I was really annoyed initially that Boring Bella could somehow snag the two hottest non-humans in all of Washington. Then it hit me that I was just jealous. How come no vampires or werewolves were fighting over me? Then it hit me again. Bella is the hero for all of us plain Janes out there! If Bella could do it, then why couldn't I? Then it hit me again. I'm a freakin' 30- something-year-old married mom of 4 plus kids and I was having these teenage jealousy issues? I really better stop reading before I start hanging out at the high school looking for my own Edward.
Thought #3: I really want Stephenie Meyer's bank account.
There it is. I thought they were a fun read for pure escapism. I even enjoyed the movie. But here's my final thing----the last book gets a little too honeymoonish for me and I started getting a little embarrassed about all the people I knew who had read about all that kissy-kissy stuff! Like my brother! And the pre-teens I know! I can't look anyone in the eye anymore since we all were witnesses to such personal moments in Bella's life. The end.