My Personal Pride Police

If you were to look at my kids' resumes (what? Don't your kids have resumes?) under 'skills' it would say 'keeping my mom's pride in check'. This occurs in many ways, mostly involving public outings, but here are some recent examples of areas in which my children are placed on earth to fully ensure that I never get a big head about anything.

ART SKILLS: Please refer to a couple posts prior where I displayed my 'door' for the PE teacher. After explaining my idea and getting all pumped about it, Ike who actually does have artistic skills, refused to get involved. After the banner was hung and he witnessed it at school, I asked him what he thought. He said,"It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be." Gee, thanks?

MUSICAL SKILLS: I enjoy playing the piano for kicks. It happens very rarely since it seems as if whenever I sit down on the bench, no matter what activity the kids were engaged in, it turns into a race for who can squeeze next to me on the bench and make beautiful music with me. And since I happen to be the only one who can actually read the notes, no beautiful music is created. The other day I was able to practice for a little bit alone when Mitch came in the room. "Wow! That was you playing the piano, Mom?" he asked. I was waiting for a follow-up compliment like, "--Because that sounded like a professional pianist." Instead, he said, "Because I thought that was Ethan and I was going to tell him he was doing a good job." Ethan?? Whose preferred method of playing the piano doesn't involve fingers, it involves plunking his bottom on the keys?? Gee, thanks Mitch.

BEAUTY: I was doing the dishes and Ethan was watching TV (another one of Ethan's resume 'skills') when I heard him yell, "That looks like you, Mom!" I raced to the TV because I was very curious as to who could possibly look like me. Could it be Giselle? Vanna? An American Gladiator? Oprah (Ethan has a very active imagination)? Nope. He was watching a commercial and he pointed to a MAN. He thought I looked like a MAN! Granted, the man had shoulder length hair, but still. He was a MAN. Thanks, Ethan.

To be fair, the kids also can inflate my pride by telling me I'm the best mom they ever had. And that I'm smarter than a 5th grader. So maybe it all evens out in the end.