Question of Tact

I usually offer my wisdom and advice to all of you, but today I'm turning the tables and letting you impart knowledge on me.
Here's the scenario: We were at school registration looking at the bulletin board with the pictures of all the teachers on it. Mitch, age 6, points to one and says, "She's fat." I then quickly scan my head to see who heard and hope nobody who fits that description is nearby and Isaac, who is a little more in tune socially (sometimes) does his part by kicking Mitch for being insensitive.
On the car ride home I try to explain to Mitch why we shouldn't make comments like that. But the saddest thing was I felt my argument was lame. I said something about how it isn't polite to call people fat. Mitch's response: "But she is fat." Good point. So I said something about not needing to say things just because it's true. And calling someone fat isn't good manners. And that everybody is different and it's not nice to point out differences and blah, blah, blah. But then I started thinking that what I was saying was silly. Mitch wasn't meaning to be rude. Someone else making that comment may have meant it rudely, but not Mitch. He was making an observation. I thought of some other examples of things you shouldn't say (kids with braces, glasses, learning disabilities)--and it still came back to only being rude if that was the intent on the part of the sayer.
I guess my problem is that it is an issue of a double standard. We teach our kids that everybody is different. But telling them not to comment or notice the differences makes it seem like there is something wrong in being different. (You follow that?) And what about euphemisms? Would it have been more polite for Mitch to just say, "That teacher has a genetic inclination to obesity?"
So here is my plea: Please give me a good argument for why Mitch shouldn't have said the teacher was fat. If I buy your reasoning I won't send you any forwarded funnies for a year. You know you can't beat that prize.

Week in Review

We began the week with Ike's Birthday. Now that he's 8, he likes to take his shirt off for pictures. He also likes to wear his new athletic gloves quite a bit. They are very useful for gripping dessert.
Despite the lack of pastry prettiness, that apple pie lasted me several meals. Breakfast, lunch and dinner for a couple days. Hey, apples are fruit so I was very healthy.
Ethan had a rare moment where Noelle would sit on his lap so he screamed for me to take a picture. I did. Please note the pacifier. Future posts will be coming as I am debating whether or not it's time to say good-bye to my best friend.
The above picture caused lots of excitement this weekend. We are lucky to live so close to the mountains, but the dangers of wildfires came a little too close to home. Fortunately the wind was blowing in our favor and our neighborhood never was threatened but we knew people whose homes had to be evacuated. Scary.

Yesterday was Ike's baptism. He had managed to endure all the attention and extra gifts that come with this special day. We successfully fed the family afterwards even though I still don't know how to calculate food for large crowds. Let's just say we made several more shopping trips than I originally planned.
We also went school shopping this week and Ike and Mitch were very embarrassed for me to go in the boys dressing room with them. I don't know what was better though....me in the boys or them in the girls?? What's the proper protocol?
More stuff happened like the kids putting on a realllly long play that they made Hub videotape and Mitch went into timeout about 83 times and I wanted to buy myself a snowcone but never figured out how to do it without getting one for the kids and heaven knows they didn't deserve one like I did....So that's it. You know where to come for excitement. Right here in my Week In Review. Oh yeah. Anybody need some zucchini? Why does that veg reproduce so much?

A night of culture

Usually I know I am the best mom ever, but every once in awhile a little doubt creeps in and I have to seek some counsel from Hub. This was the conversation the other night:
Me: Lambkins (you choose if that's what I really called him), do you ever get concerned that we haven't exposed our children to enough cultural events?
Hub: Huh?
Me: I just remember being dragged to choir, orchestra, dance and band concerts all the time when I was little. Not to mention the museum exhibits and plays. And look how great I turned out!
Hub: You were on the tail end of the family and they made you go to all that stuff because the older family members were performing. Our kids are too young.
Me: But shouldn't we start them young so they can get used to it?
Hub: You complain every time you leave the house with all four of them and now you want to take them to a concert????
Me: Good point. But are you sure they aren't culturally deprived?
Hub: ZZZZZZZZZZ (this is how lots of deep conversations end in our house)
I am one smart cookie and realized that my desire to have my children exposed to the fine arts doesn't really translate into taking them out into public and ruining everyone else's fine arts experience. So I came up with a perfect compromise. I let them stay up and watch So You Think You Can Dance with me.
We had a truly edifying experience. Ethan kept on asking why you have to dance in your underwear. Mitch tried to mimic a few breakdancing moves and ended up with carpet burn on his head. Isaac became distracted by the competition aspect and kept on wondering where they kept the prize trophy. Yes, I think it was a cultural success. Maybe next week we will try a different artistic venue. Like watching Don't Forget the Lyrics. Yessiree, my kids will be the most cultured kids on the block.

Happy Birthday Isaac!

Isaac with some of his Birthday loot. Eight years ago I first underwent the joys and grossness of childbirth. Then there were the months of screaming baby at night. We somehow survived and are just lucky that we've not had a baby that bad since.

Isaac had the fattest cheeks around. On his face that is. Sorry, this was the youngest picture I have of him on our digital library. He's four here, I think.

He probably made it to nursery twice without needing his mom and dad. Then we moved on to Sunbeams where I had a place next to him on the front row to make sure he didn't escape from there as well. Then there were the two months of Kindergarten where I had to physically drag him in the room and come up with all sorts of bribes and threats to make him stay. Fortunately, he gets braver every year so there are no worries about Mommy hanging out in the third grade classroom this year.

He is our artist and before sports came along, he could sit at the table for awhile and just whip out several intricate pictures. Sometimes he even gets creative and makes his own paper costumes:

Isaac is a great help around the house and is our only morning person (besides Hub). He likes to get all his work done quickly and leave the rest of the day for play. He is super with Noelle and will let Ethan and Mitch beat him up for a few minutes before he resumes his oldest brother status and reminds them who is toughest.
A couple of interesting facts about Isaac are that he learned to walk at nine months before he could crawl. He also eats and writes left handed but is right handed in everything else.

He is celebrating his big day by having sugar cereal for breakfast, going on a lunch date with his grandparents and picking a DVD for the family to watch tonight. He chose to skip a party this year and instead went to the new swimming pool with a friend (Tyler, of course). He wanted apple pie instead of cake and Ramen noodles for dinner. (Hub wasn't excited about that choice; obviously he doesn't appreciate how easy that is for me to make!)
Happy Birthday Ike!

Why do I have to have a title?

I like Fridays because for about 15 minutes all my bathrooms are clean. And is it just me or does someone always have to use el potty right when I'm in the middle of scrubbing it? Enough small talk.
On to important matters: Ethan was shackled for several hours the other day. This was not a new form of discipline or child abuse. We have a toy pair of handcuffs where the release latch had been getting stuck lately. A smart mom would have just thrown them away or put them in the DI bag for another unsuspecting family to enjoy. However, I am not that mom. And I figured if I hid them for awhile they would fix themselves miraculously. Well, unfortunately they resurfaced and Ethan shackled his feet together. This was at 7:30 am. I couldn't undo those babies for the life of me. I got out a butter knife (at which point Ethan starts screaming, "Don't cut me mom!") and tried to pry them apart. I tried lots of different bad words on them and only resulted in them getting tighter on Ethan's ankles. My only short-term solution was to find Hub's tool box and I was able to break through the connecting chain so at least he wasn't forced to take baby steps all day.
The positive thing was that he was embarrassed at the store to have big bracelets on his legs and hid himself in the cart the whole time. If that's all it takes to have him not run around like a crazy man at the store, I may pull the 'cuffs out every time. When I finally got a hold of Hub hours later, he gave me some tips and I was finally able to set Ethan free with only a couple of 'ows' on his part.

poor ethan trying to take a nap with his new silver jewelry

And here is our latest home improvement project. Sod anyone? We are taking out a chunk of our hard earned grass. Hub has a dream and it involves a lot of cement and calculations on graph paper. We'll be welcoming your hard labor any Saturday for the next couple of months. Thanks.

Ethan

We are back from the Big Reunion and I have just about got life back in order. I am so self disciplined I didn't allow myself frivolous blog time until I had paid all the bills, done some laundry and bought some new shoes online. I'll share some reunion photos later--it's just so hard to decide which ones will make the cut. But for today I will share an Ethan moment. Mainly because he just spent an hour and a half eating his one packet of oatmeal and he kept on escaping from the table and I kept on yelling at him (in a loving way of course) to get back and finish his bleepedy-bleep breakfast before the eating disorder counselors were called in.... so I needed to remind myself of some of his more endearing qualities and here is I a funny little story I'll share.
The other night Ethan and I were cuddling. He is our best cuddler by far. But maybe cuddling isn't the right word. He is more of a climber. He likes you to hold him while he tries different climbing positions on your body. Anyway. I patted his little tushie and thought it felt a little more firm than I remembered. I patted again and felt an extra waistband where his underwear was.
Me: "Ethan, are you wearing two pairs of unders??"
Ethan: "What? No! I'm wearing waaaaay more than that! Count them!"
Me: "One, two, three, four, five...Five! Why the heck are you wearing five pairs of unders?!"
Ethan: "I don't know."
The end. He did end up removing four pairs before bed that night after I convinced him he would get a sweaty bum.

Farewell to PMS

Lest I alienate my male audience, let me clarify. This post isn't about female problems. It's about the demolition of my alma mater: Payson Middle School. It was surprisingly depressing to see the walls knocked down. Lots of memories were had at that place. Most of them embarrassing, but my memories nonetheless.
Like how I was so stressed about my first locker and it took me several tries and chanting in my head to make it actually work. The first tortuous school dances. The horrible initiation of a girls locker room and being graded on taking a shower. (This is totally true--you were checked off once you got wet). Lots of bad teachers and lots of good teachers. Making friends with kids who lived on the other side of town. Having to hug a boy in the school play---somebody might mistake my acting skills for actually liking him! And the list could go on for miles of all the drama that could happen to my 12-14-year-old self.
There are no PMSs in town now. I think the powers that be realized how traumatizing middle school could be and they simply abolished it. Now we just leap into the fun jr. high years. Somehow I have a feeling that no matter what you call it, young girls are still having awkward moments in the girls locker room and on the school dance floor. It is through them that my memories of PMS will live on.

WalMart ain't no Garden of Eden

Every once in awhile I must stray from my more tame autobiographical account of my family life and go on a rant. Today's rant has a spiritual angle so you can feel uplifted while I vent.

In Genesis 3:10 Adam and Eve admit to hiding from the Lord and are embarrassed of their nakedness. I know we are lots of generations away from Adam and Eve, but why are some of us more embarrassed by our nakedness than others? This came to me while in a very long line at WalMart. I typically have lots of time to think deep thoughts at WalMart since the lines are always long. I probably could have solved the energy crisis and invented a new nuclear weapon with all the time I had yesterday, but I was having to clean up as Noelle destroyed the magazine rack. But a couple of people ahead of me was the most ghastly sight I have seen in awhile. A woman in a mesh halter top. The back was completely bare. The front had a lining over the important parts, but the rest was mesh. Mesh, I tell you! I thought mesh was only reserved for tents these days. Unfortunately for all of us in WalMart yesterday, I was wrong.

This bothered me on two counts. I had my boys with me and I don't like them to see half-naked women. My other issue is just one of social propriety. A grocery store is not a proper environment to wear your lingerie. I don't care if you are a size 22 or a 2, please cover your body in a public enclosed place! Do what you want in your yard or even on a hiking trail. But have some respect for the rest of us.

Maybe since a WalMart Supercenter carries everything else, this woman could have bought a 'coat of skins' to cover herself up in. She really wasn't wearing much more than fig leaves in the first place, but if God sent Adam and Eve out of the garden in skins it's good enough for me.

That is all. You don't have to read your scriptures today and please retire all mesh clothing items. Thank you.

We're Back!

We've actually been back for a few days now, but there just hasn't been a quiet moment to sit down at the computer for more than two minutes. What you will be viewing is the first day and a half at Lake Powell before the camera died. We did resort to video camera footage for some of our other activities so if you really want an exciting evening, come on over and we'll show you the actual water skiing part.
We ended up in a nice little cove where you jump off the back of the houseboat and could swim or canoe to some exciting red rocks to climb.
Noelle was a little prissy this year and didn't favor dirty lake water. She would much rather wear her life jacket on the houseboat and point to the excitement than be in the water and create her own excitement.
This monstrosity is called a MegaStation. Water seeps in through a netting on the floor so you can keep your feet cool while lounging. The kids loved to climb all over this and Noelle actually liked it as well once we got her in it.
My youngest two boys spent some sun-less time playing My Little Ponies with their cousins. Please don't tell them that those are for girls since they were quite smitten with them.

And those were the pix. You didn't get to see Mitch and Ethan take turns water skiing with Hub. You didn't get to see Ike and his cousins climb way too high on a rocky cliff. You didn't see the huge cloud of gnats that came out each morning. You didn't get to see the jet ski drift off in the middle of the night (we miraculously found it the next morning). You didn't get to see Ethan having stage fright on the houseboat potty and not going for a full day (he gets his strong bladder from me). There are no pictures of how I only really had to bite my tongue once to prevent an argument with an in-law. And nobody drowned or got sunburned. And we still came home with Swedish Fish to eat. How much more successful can you get on a family trip than that?